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Featuring a new excerpt from a sex ed book each month |
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The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women |
An Excerpt from The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women |
Lubricants |
Oil or Vegetable-Based Lube |
It's no secret that some people look no further than their kitchen or
bathroom to find a lube. People write to me all the time and tell me that they
use common household items - like olive oil, baby oil, Crisco, Vaseline, or
lotion - as lube. They weren't made for bedroom activities so they definitely
don't work as well as the many lubricants on the market which are formulated,
tested, and designed specifically for sex. There are lubricants sold that have
similar properties, brands like Boy Butter, Elbow Grease, and ID Cream. They are
great for male masturbation, and although they are marketed for anal sex
(especially toward the gay male consumer), the problem with them is the same as
with household products: they are oil based or vegetable based. Usually made
with a vegetable or mineral oil base, they are slick and greasy, often with a
creamy consistency reminiscent of Crisco. This group of lubricants breaks down
latex condoms, dams, and gloves, so you should use them with latex alternatives
like vinyl or nitrile. They often stain sheets, clothing, and towels, and are
generally hard to clean up. In addition to being incompatible with latex, oil-
and vegetable-based lubes can wreak havoc on a woman's pussy. Even when you're
headed for her ass, and you are being diligent about ass to pussy
cross-contamination, sometimes a little lube finds its way into her front door.
In this case, that lube cannot be rinsed out, is a perfect breeding ground for
bacteria, and will most likely cause an infection of some kind. For all these
reasons, I do not recommend oil or vegetable-based lubes for anal play.
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Desensitizing Lube |
With popular brand names like Anal Ease, Anal-Eze, and Tushy Tamer,
"desensitizing" lubes promise to make anal sex easier and more comfortable.
Don't believe the hype! These lubes contain benzocaine (or a similar
ingredient), a topical anesthetic that numbs your anus and rectum. It's the
same ingredient in "delay" or "prolong" creams to help men maintain an
erection longer. I absolutely do not recommend using these products or others
like them, ever. Because they have the effect of numbing your anal area, you
literally cannot feel your ass and you are in danger of hurting yourself. Plus,
some people are allergic to benzocaine.
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Water-Based Lube |
Water-based lubes are nonirritating, nonstaining, odorless, and easy to wash off
toys and bodies. They either have no taste or a faint taste. Thin, liquidy lubes
are very popular for vaginal penetration because they have a similar consistency
to natural vaginal secretions. Popular brands include Aqua Lube, Astroglide, K-Y
Liquid, Probe Silky Light, and Wet Light. While these slick lubes can be
somewhat effective for anal penetration, and will definitely do the job in a
pinch, thicker water-based lubes are much better.
Thick water-based lubes have the same properties and advantages as their thinner
counterparts, the only difference is in their consistency; they tend to feel
more like hair gel or jelly. Many people like to use these thicker lubes for
anal play because they provide extensive lubrication and tend to dry up less
quickly than watery varieties. If they do dry up, add a little water or saliva
to revive their powers. Their texture also means that they will coat and protect
the delicate, sensitive lining of the anal canal and rectum. Examples include
Astroglide Gel, Elbow Grease (Water-Based Formula), Embrace, ID Glide, K-Y Brand
UltraGel, and Wet.
Many women find that their vaginas can be sensitive or allergic to the most
popular ingredient in water-based lube, the one that helps it stay wet:
glycerin. Anecdotally, there seem to be more reactions to lubes with glycerin
with vaginal penetration than anal penetration. If you or your partner is
sensitive or allergic to glycerin, you may want to try a lube with vegetable
glycerin (which discourages yeast growth) like O'My or Probe Thick and Rich or
a glycerin-free lube. Because glycerin-free lubes dry up quicker than lubes that
contain glycerin, they may be less ideal for anal play. Popular brands like
HydraSmooth, Liquid Silk, and Sensual Power may be too thin and liquidy to do
the job, so try thicker brands like Maximus, Sensua Organics or Slippery Stuff
Gel. Flavored lubes are also safe for anal penetration.
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Silicone Lube |
Silicone lubes are made of a combination of the liquid forms of silicone:
dimethicone, dimethiconol, and cyclomethicone, which are common ingredients in
cosmetics and lotions. First introduced in the United States in 1995, their
unique selling point is their ability to stay wet for a very long time. In
general, silicone lubes are extremely slick, allowing for lots of friction
without discomfort. Extremely concentrated, a little bit of silicone lube goes a
long way, so you'll find yourself using much less silicone lube than
water-based lube and re-lubing less frequently. When left on the skin, they
don't become sticky or stringy (like many water-based lubes can), and they have
moisturizing properties, so they leave your skin soft. You can also use them as
massage oil. Because they aren't water-based, you can use them for wet fun in
the pool, hot tub, shower, or bath. Popular brands are Eros, ID Millennium, and
Wet Platinum.
Most silicone lubes are slick and thin, which may not be ideal for anal
penetration; some people really like the slick texture, while others feel too
much friction, which can be uncomfortable. Eros makes two thicker versions - Eros
Gel and Power Cream - that are ideal for silicone and anal fans. While silicone
lube does not get absorbed into the genital tissue the way water-based lube
does, some women find that it irritates their delicate parts. Silicone can be
harder to clean up since it is not water soluble, and not all soaps will
dissolve it (I recommend using warm water and a liquid soap). Perhaps the
biggest drawback is that they are incompatible with silicone sex toys. Silicone
lube bonds to a silicone toy and ruins it forever. So, if you're a fan of both
and want to use them together, make sure you cover all silicone toys with a
condom first.
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How to Use Lube |
The rule of thumb when it comes to lube is "on, not in." In other words, you
should pour lube onto whatever is going to be doing the penetration - a finger, a
toy, a penis - rather than directly into any orifice. When it comes to anal
penetration, there's no such thing as too much lube, and you should re-lube
frequently. Keep a box of baby wipes nearby to control drips and for easy
cleanup.
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Dear Tristan,
I have a question about pussy shaving. I prefer to have zero hair on my pussy. However, I'm not overly satisfied with the results, and wonder if there is a better way to shave. I use a Venus 3 razor and body wash to shave. But I've discovered that after a couple days, I usually end up with a few red bumps that are like pimples. I also used to shave in an upward motion, but was told that it is better to shave in a downward motion.
Is this true? Is there a better razor that I could use? Would some type of cream be better to use rather
than body wash? Is there a specific technique to shaving that is more apt to result in a more smooth and
softly shaved pussy?
Signed, Bare-ly There Read Tristan's Answer.. |
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