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The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women
2nd Edition
Written by: Tristan Taormino
Published by: Cleis Press
An Excerpt from The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women

Lubricants
Oil or Vegetable-Based Lube
It's no secret that some people look no further than their kitchen or bathroom to find a lube. People write to me all the time and tell me that they use common household items - like olive oil, baby oil, Crisco, Vaseline, or lotion - as lube. They weren't made for bedroom activities so they definitely don't work as well as the many lubricants on the market which are formulated, tested, and designed specifically for sex. There are lubricants sold that have similar properties, brands like Boy Butter, Elbow Grease, and ID Cream. They are great for male masturbation, and although they are marketed for anal sex (especially toward the gay male consumer), the problem with them is the same as with household products: they are oil based or vegetable based. Usually made with a vegetable or mineral oil base, they are slick and greasy, often with a creamy consistency reminiscent of Crisco. This group of lubricants breaks down latex condoms, dams, and gloves, so you should use them with latex alternatives like vinyl or nitrile. They often stain sheets, clothing, and towels, and are generally hard to clean up. In addition to being incompatible with latex, oil- and vegetable-based lubes can wreak havoc on a woman's pussy. Even when you're headed for her ass, and you are being diligent about ass to pussy cross-contamination, sometimes a little lube finds its way into her front door. In this case, that lube cannot be rinsed out, is a perfect breeding ground for bacteria, and will most likely cause an infection of some kind. For all these reasons, I do not recommend oil or vegetable-based lubes for anal play.


Desensitizing Lube
With popular brand names like Anal Ease, Anal-Eze, and Tushy Tamer, "desensitizing" lubes promise to make anal sex easier and more comfortable. Don't believe the hype! These lubes contain benzocaine (or a similar ingredient), a topical anesthetic that numbs your anus and rectum. It's the same ingredient in "delay" or "prolong" creams to help men maintain an erection longer. I absolutely do not recommend using these products or others like them, ever. Because they have the effect of numbing your anal area, you literally cannot feel your ass and you are in danger of hurting yourself. Plus, some people are allergic to benzocaine.


Water-Based Lube
Water-based lubes are nonirritating, nonstaining, odorless, and easy to wash off toys and bodies. They either have no taste or a faint taste. Thin, liquidy lubes are very popular for vaginal penetration because they have a similar consistency to natural vaginal secretions. Popular brands include Aqua Lube, Astroglide, K-Y Liquid, Probe Silky Light, and Wet Light. While these slick lubes can be somewhat effective for anal penetration, and will definitely do the job in a pinch, thicker water-based lubes are much better.

Thick water-based lubes have the same properties and advantages as their thinner counterparts, the only difference is in their consistency; they tend to feel more like hair gel or jelly. Many people like to use these thicker lubes for anal play because they provide extensive lubrication and tend to dry up less quickly than watery varieties. If they do dry up, add a little water or saliva to revive their powers. Their texture also means that they will coat and protect the delicate, sensitive lining of the anal canal and rectum. Examples include Astroglide Gel, Elbow Grease (Water-Based Formula), Embrace, ID Glide, K-Y Brand UltraGel, and Wet.

Many women find that their vaginas can be sensitive or allergic to the most popular ingredient in water-based lube, the one that helps it stay wet: glycerin. Anecdotally, there seem to be more reactions to lubes with glycerin with vaginal penetration than anal penetration. If you or your partner is sensitive or allergic to glycerin, you may want to try a lube with vegetable glycerin (which discourages yeast growth) like O'My or Probe Thick and Rich or a glycerin-free lube. Because glycerin-free lubes dry up quicker than lubes that contain glycerin, they may be less ideal for anal play. Popular brands like HydraSmooth, Liquid Silk, and Sensual Power may be too thin and liquidy to do the job, so try thicker brands like Maximus, Sensua Organics or Slippery Stuff Gel. Flavored lubes are also safe for anal penetration.


Silicone Lube
Silicone lubes are made of a combination of the liquid forms of silicone: dimethicone, dimethiconol, and cyclomethicone, which are common ingredients in cosmetics and lotions. First introduced in the United States in 1995, their unique selling point is their ability to stay wet for a very long time. In general, silicone lubes are extremely slick, allowing for lots of friction without discomfort. Extremely concentrated, a little bit of silicone lube goes a long way, so you'll find yourself using much less silicone lube than water-based lube and re-lubing less frequently. When left on the skin, they don't become sticky or stringy (like many water-based lubes can), and they have moisturizing properties, so they leave your skin soft. You can also use them as massage oil. Because they aren't water-based, you can use them for wet fun in the pool, hot tub, shower, or bath. Popular brands are Eros, ID Millennium, and Wet Platinum.

Most silicone lubes are slick and thin, which may not be ideal for anal penetration; some people really like the slick texture, while others feel too much friction, which can be uncomfortable. Eros makes two thicker versions - Eros Gel and Power Cream - that are ideal for silicone and anal fans. While silicone lube does not get absorbed into the genital tissue the way water-based lube does, some women find that it irritates their delicate parts. Silicone can be harder to clean up since it is not water soluble, and not all soaps will dissolve it (I recommend using warm water and a liquid soap). Perhaps the biggest drawback is that they are incompatible with silicone sex toys. Silicone lube bonds to a silicone toy and ruins it forever. So, if you're a fan of both and want to use them together, make sure you cover all silicone toys with a condom first.


How to Use Lube
The rule of thumb when it comes to lube is "on, not in." In other words, you should pour lube onto whatever is going to be doing the penetration - a finger, a toy, a penis - rather than directly into any orifice. When it comes to anal penetration, there's no such thing as too much lube, and you should re-lube frequently. Keep a box of baby wipes nearby to control drips and for easy cleanup.
Advice
Getting the Perfect Shave
Dear Tristan,

I have a question about pussy shaving. I prefer to have zero hair on my pussy. However, I'm not overly satisfied with the results, and wonder if there is a better way to shave. I use a Venus 3 razor and body wash to shave. But I've discovered that after a couple days, I usually end up with a few red bumps that are like pimples. I also used to shave in an upward motion, but was told that it is better to shave in a downward motion. Is this true? Is there a better razor that I could use? Would some type of cream be better to use rather than body wash? Is there a specific technique to shaving that is more apt to result in a more smooth and softly shaved pussy?

Signed, Bare-ly There Read Tristan's Answer..
Trailers
Expert Guide Advanced Anal Sex
Executive Produced by Tristan Taormino
Release Date: 07/07/11
View The Trailer | Buy It Now
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