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Advice
Getting the Perfect Shave
Posted: March 28th 2009
Dear Tristan,

I have a question about pussy shaving. I prefer to have zero hair on my pussy. However, I'm not overly satisfied with the results, and wonder if there is a better way to shave. I use a Venus 3 razor and body wash to shave. But I've discovered that after a couple days, I usually end up with a few red bumps that are like pimples. I also used to shave in an upward motion, but was told that it is better to shave in a downward motion. Is this true? Is there a better razor that I could use? Would some type of cream be better to use rather than body wash? Is there a specific technique to shaving that is more apt to result in a more smooth and softly shaved pussy?

Signed, Bare-ly There

Thanks for writing about such a touch-y subject!

Your question isn't that uncommon; many people have a love/hate relationship with pussy shaving - they love the way it feels right after it's done, but days later it can be uncomfortable. On the positive side, it sounds like you're already using the best possible razor (something with multiple blades, like your Venus 3, is best). I'd skip the body wash and use a gentle shaving cream- preferably something that's all natural or made for sensitive skin, as it'll cause the least amount of irritation to your tender flesh. Shaving while using the downward motion (shaving with the growth direction of the hairs, as opposed to against it) is also more gentle to your skin. It sounds like the bumps are probably ingrown hairs, which there are two things you can do about - the first is to use a product that helps control that, like Tend Skin - but that can burn like crazy. The second is to exfoliate - use a loofah or body scrub each time you wash to make sure that the hairs don't get trapped under the skin as they grow in. Of course you'll want to be careful to rinse cleanly, as your pussy doesn't need lots of lotion or soap to get up into your bits. Finally, stay away from tight underwear or pants for a day or so after shaving, to avoid chafing your tender skin. After all that work, you want to feel as sexy as possible, right?

With lube + affection (and silky-soft skin),

Tristan
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The "Novelty" of Toys
Posted: February 11th 2009
Dear Tristan,

Should I be afraid of toys labeled "for novelty use"? I found a toy in a store last week that looked really fun. It was $50 and said it was made of silicone, and I was about to buy it when I saw the novelty label. Should I treat this warning as "don't put me in any orifice" or "cover me with a condom and I'll be fine"?

Yours,
Nervous About Toys

Dear Nervous,

Actually, many toys are labeled "for novelty use" - in fact, in some areas, shops will display a sign that states that the items that they sell are for novelty use only! Why? In many jurisdictions, it is still illegal to sell sex toys, as they're classified as "obscene" in the local laws. The "Novelty" labels and signs help prevent legal action against sellers; unfortunately, they also mean that some manufacturers will not be as careful with full disclosure of materials as we'd like them to be.
Mbr> The trick is to find out whether the toy is really safe for you to use. A quick web search with the name of the toy and the manufacturer should turn up lots of information for you to read, including reviews and material information. At $50, it's likely that it really is made of silicone - but all "silicone" is not the same! The highest quality is medical / food grade silicone, and toys made from this are exceptionally safe, durable, and easily cleaned. There are also silicone composites, which may or may not be as non-allergenic, and may be difficult to keep clean. Again, doing some online research will clear up that question as well!

Ideally, though, the toy store you're shopping with should have knowledgeable staff who can fill you in on all the details, and who will support your effort to find high-quality, safe sex toys. The important thing for you to do is to ask lots of questions, do some checking around, and stay an educated consumer!

With lube + affection,

Tristan
--------------------------------------

Masturbating Too Much?
Posted: June 24th 2008
Dear Tristan,

I've been single for awhile now, which has meant a lot more masturbating rather than sex. However, I've that since the end of my last relationship, I've been unable to orgasm through sex. I wind up having to masturbate to finish. Is this an easily fixable problem do you think? Am I masturbating too much?

Wondering And Nervous to Know

Hi W.A.N.K.,

Are you masturbating too much? I think that's pretty hard to do. I spend a lot of time telling folks to masturbate more, so don't expect me to tell you to masturbate less. Of course, if masturbating is keeping you from getting to work on time, eating, sleeping, and other regular activities then I might say it is time to tone it down a bit! What you are describing is actually quite common.

Here is the thing: the way we have sex and get off is as sensitive to regular routines and habits as many of the other daily activities we experience. Some people can only fall asleep on their stomach. Why? Because that is the way they have been doing it for a long time. Is it possible for them to fall asleep on their back? Yes, but it is going to take some work. Orgasms are a lot like that. It is really difficult for some people to come lying on their back if they learned and became accustomed to coming while on their stomach. Can they come other ways? Sure, but it can take a lot of extra work. The best thing for you (and everyone) to do is to switch things up while you are masturbating. This goes for both your body position and the type of stimulation you are using. Try new things. Do you always jerk off in bed? Ever try in a chair or standing up? Like a firm grip? Try a loose grip and see how far it can take you. Think of it as cross-training for the bedroom!

My final thought on the subject is this: is jerking off to come with a partner a bad thing? I know that people have a lot of expectations when it comes to sex. But there is nothing wrong with you touching yourself during partner sex or helping things come to a conclusion. If you both ultimately had a good time together and you both came, I encourage you to try to be less invested in how each event happened and more in that it *did* happen. Then, collapse in a pile of sweat and enjoy yourselves!

with lube + affection,

Tristan
--------------------------------------

Advice
Getting the Perfect Shave
Dear Tristan,

I have a question about pussy shaving. I prefer to have zero hair on my pussy. However, I'm not overly satisfied with the results, and wonder if there is a better way to shave. I use a Venus 3 razor and body wash to shave. But I've discovered that after a couple days, I usually end up with a few red bumps that are like pimples. I also used to shave in an upward motion, but was told that it is better to shave in a downward motion. Is this true? Is there a better razor that I could use? Would some type of cream be better to use rather than body wash? Is there a specific technique to shaving that is more apt to result in a more smooth and softly shaved pussy?

Signed, Bare-ly There Read Tristan's Answer..
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